[Still, he's frustrated already and forcing someone down is a pain in the ass... he leans up just enough to give Athelstan room to breathe, balancing on his elbows and watching him with a look of annoyance mixed with... fatigue.]
What exactly did you come here for? Killing me? [Apparently so, so he adds:] Why?
[The fact that Athelstan was tried to kill him isn't surprising. The only surprising thing is that he can't trace it back to anything to apologize for. He'd given him the best night of his life... and then they hadn't spoken.]
[ It would be prudent to move but Athelstan doesn't, staying under Dodger when there's more than enough wiggle room for him to put more distance between them or at least attempt to.
The questions annoy Athelstan because he would have thought Dodger would know. In hindsight, he'd see how that's foolish enough, neither Ragnar or Ivar are the type to talk about him without reason and Dodger is, in his opinion, less than bright. ]
Ragnar. [ Ragnar is his issue and it's true even beyond the immediate answer to Dodger's question. Ivar is also at play when it comes to his malice toward Dodger. Whatever had had Ivar that upset...
Athelstan is a bit hopelessly bias to Ragnar's son. ]
He lets out a sigh of annoyance, and leans down to nip the priest's bottom lip.]
He already talked to me. We're sorted out.
[Because that's what this is, right? Athelstan is just an angry friend trying to right wrongs for Ragnar being hurt. But Ragnar had already yelled at him, and slept with him afterward, so that chapter was over.]
Not like he'll blame you if you got distracted. [He murmurs, pressing a softer kiss to Athelstan's lips.]
[ Athelstan ignores the shiver that went down his spine when Dodger nips his lip. His brows furrow at the other's reply. It frustrates him all the more, the hurt and insecurities blooming further. He doesn't know what to say and if Dodger were looking there's probably a few long moments that the pain is clear enough on his face.
Athelstan's lost in his thoughts, enough that he doesn't pull away from the kiss, though it does little to ease the twisting in his stomach. ]
[He lets out another frustrated noise at the conversation continuing, but... hold on. He leans up again, the gears clearly turning in his head for a moment before he looks at Athelstan with the first serious expression he's worn all night.
Our bed. This isn't a friend, it's a lover. The lover... probably the reason why Ragnar had told him not to come to his house. So that they wouldn't meet, and make things complicated. And hell, Dodger would do the same, has done the same, to keep Khisanth and Eichi and Shigeru from spending too long together.
There are a few options here. He could apologize. He could speak to Ragnar about it. Hell, he could call him right now and get his opinion. He could do something horrible to Athelstan, make sure he's too humiliated to bring it up. Or maybe...
...Well, maybe that might just happen on its own. And then he won't have to deal with this, at least for a while. It isn't his problem, it's between them. They've both fucked him, it's not like Ragnar has any ground to be angry at either of them.]
Pretty sure we can't wake him up from out here... [He thinks it over a bit more, before adding:] I'm sure he'd like a video, though. You're a good catch.
[ Athelstan's not sure how to read the situation. He's starting to feel the urge to move, shifting beneath Dodger slowly and then shoving his shoulder in an attempt to get him to move off of him at the mention of a video. His eyes were wide and slightly mortified. ]
No, he would not like that. [ In truth, Ragnar still doesn't know how much Athelstan and Dodger had actually done the first time. The way that things had gone Athelstan had ended up too ashamed to even tell him there had been sex. ]
[Is it cruel to crack a joke like that? Probably. But Dodger's moving past it already, pressing more kisses to Athelstan's lips and running his fingers over his hips.]
Has he fucked you yet? [He glances up, with a spark of mischief coming back to him.] Or am I still the only one that's gotten to you?
[ Athelstan sucked in his breath at the comment. Was it a joke? He didn't pick up on the joke part of that. He pushed his shoulder, not really kissing him back. The questions that follow have him wanting to punch Dodger.
The push turns into a harsher shove as he at least makes the attempt to get Dodger off of him so he can get up. The jagged edges coming together to form a clearer picture. Little does he know how wholly inaccurate the picture is. There's the feeling that Ragnar thinks it's perfectly okay for Dodger to fuck him but that for some reason Ragnar doesn't want to fuck him himself. ]
[....Ugh. It is a jealous lover, he'd feared the worst.
Dodger hangs his head in sheer frustration as he lets Athelstan wriggle free, rolling onto his side to watch him from a small distance.]
Then what does it matter what he thinks.
[He'd asked the man here to get his mind off of things with Ragnar, how had he managed to seek out the one person that would make his life even more complicated? But now he guesses he has to... deal with this.]
Is that why you were a virgin when we met? Because you'd spent all your time pining over him when he spends all his time with other people? [Athelstan is painting a rather... mirror-like picture, that Dodger doesn't like one bit, and it presses him to pick at the situation like a scab.] How long has he been leaving you on the curb, huh? Because hell... he fucked me twenty minutes after he caught sight of me. So why shouldn't you?
[ What Ragnar thinks is all that matters and Athelstan can't for the life of himself understand any of this. He should just leave, shouldn't he? What is the point of talking to Dodger anymore. Nevermind, that his skin is still awake with the desire the other is able to stir even though Athelstan resents it completely. His wrist still smarts but he takes that as penance.
He stares down at the wrist the other had grabbed, the other's questions each feel like a gut bunch and he drags his dull nails over his wrist as if he could shock some sense into himself.
He drops his hands to the bed's edge as he sits at it, his feet on the ground and he could leave if he'd just get up. He doesn't think Dodger would force him to stay. Certainly not now. ]
No. If you must know, he is the one that pined for me and I am the one that held him back. Where I came from it had been 20 years, at least...for him it's... he's younger here. [ He doesn't know why he's telling these things to Dodger. ] I asked him to ... I wanted to have sex with me but he never... [ What does Dodger have that he doesn't? ]
[Well, he'd had sympathy for him at first. Maybe Ragnar just didn't care about him at first. But if Ragnar's the one that cared, and Athelstan was pushing him away... well, it's Ragnar's happiness that matters to Dodger. If he can provide Ragnar with happiness, it doesn't matter to him whether the man in front of him lives or dies.]
You sound like a fucking Christian. [And by the sound of it, that's an insult. He rolls his eyes, sitting up as he speaks.] He pined, you pined, after 20 fucking years does it matter? Fuck, that's almost as long as I've been alive. You never once sat down and figured you outgrew him, and maybe it wasn't gonna work out?
[Really, why is he bothering with this? He's not a fucking therapist. He just tips his head back, and then falls entirely back onto the bed.]
Look, whatever's going on between you two doesn't affect me. I'm just one of the people he fucked. So either take a page out of his book and get your rocks off, and stop taking it so fucking seriously, or get out.
[ He starts to say that he is a Christian and yet he's not sure it's true anymore. It's complicated. Athelstan tsks at the rest of the other's statements. It's frustrating and there's so many insecurities that Dodger manages to scrape past a few and yet not hit anything on the nose.
Aside from that maybe this Ragnar doesn't want who he's become as much as who he had been. His hands, still baring the marks of being crucified fidget before his fingers turn toward the bracelet that's around his wrist at all times, just like the crucifix he wears.
There's something in Dodger's words that sets off his anger again, he'd be hard pressed to pin point the exact moment it feels that it explodes in his chest before he turns, to punch Dodger in the jaw. ]
[This time he doesn't stop the punch; he almost welcomes it, even when he sees it coming a mile away. Athelstan's knuckles collide with his jaw, bruising his bottom lip, and he just ends up laughing quietly.]
What, did I hit a nerve?
[It barely bothers him - this man isn't a fighter, it shows even in the way he holds his fist. And even without that, Dodger is confident in his own ability to destroy him if he's convinced to take this seriously.
No, he'll just laugh it off and lean up enough to balance himself on his elbows.]
If you're gonna play the part of a jealous wife, at least you could throw a decent punch.
[ Dodger is infuriating. Athelstan doesn't think that he's ever had someone crawl under his skin and enrage him like this. He doesn't know what to do with such anger. He can't find the strength to turn the other cheek metaphorically.
In truth, while Athelstan had become rather skilled at fighting with shields and axes... fist fighting is not his forte, especially not when fueled by emotions that he doesn't know how to control and reign to his advantage -- not to mention that his opponent also has some unfair advantages to top it all off.
He does launch himself at Dodger, though, his hands going for his neck and it's foolish. Even as he does it he knows that he's being stupid but a part of him really doesn't care. ]
[It's almost cute - like getting attacked by a frustrated pet. Dodger doesn't miss a beat, grabbing onto Athelstan's throat before he can reach him and rolling them over, pinning him down onto the bed again and cutting off his air. Mostly to make sure he stays quiet while he's speaking.]
I want to make this clear. I don't care if you've got something going on with Ragnar. That's not going to stop me from fucking him. If you want something changed, bring it up with him. But don't make me coddle you if you're not gonna have the decency to suck me off while I do it.
[He loosens his grip then, just enough to let Athelstan breathe again, and leans down so that their bodies are flush against one another, their breath mingling.]
I gave you a chance to leave. You're the one who came here. You're the one that stayed. So don't blame anyone but yourself for whatever happens tonight. Alright?
[ Athelstan still didn't manage to see it coming, not until he can't breathe and he's pinned beneath Dodger again. He doesn't face any of the sensations in his body, trying to focus on the lack of oxygen, one of his hands pulling at Dodger's fingers like he could pry them away. None of it's particularly helpful in the least.
He's sucking in harsh breaths, when his throat is released. The other's words had sobered him, if only a little. The anger turning more inward to himself. It always should have been brought up with Ragnar but he's too afraid of what answers he might receive, insecure that he's not able to satisfy Ragnar, that he's not enough.
There's no arguing with Dodger, not on this. ]
I hate you. [ Congratulations, this is his first hate confession. ]
[Dodger glances down, and his eyes catch the cross around Athelstan's neck. Looking back up, meeting his eyes, he picks the charm up and smirks lazily.]
If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
[He presses a kiss to the symbol, content that he's soiled it with unholy lips, and then drops it so that it hits Athelstan's face on the way down. All the while his body has started moving, slowly working his hips against Athelstan's just enough to tease him with the occasional shift of fabric. He wants the satisfaction of the monk coming to him, more than anything.]
[ The words feel twisted and wrong coming from Dodger's lips, though he can't fully comprehend why at the moment, maybe it's their current state. It feels like blasphemy and he almost takes it off once it hits his face and then settles back down. It's a reminder of his shaken faith, even more shaken now when he can't muster forgiveness, can't turn the other cheek. If he could manage it he'd kill Dodger but he can't seem to even hurt him.
He can't hurt him even a little, even though the other's hips are sinful and each movement had been noticed, his body all too eager to respond. He turned his head to the side, searching for anything to focus on that isn't Dodger's face even as he doesn't try to stop what he knows is happening.
He should stop it, but he's still thinking about Ragnar talking to Dodger about him, being okay with this? Did he want Dodger to do this, is that it? Did he want Athelstan to be more experienced? At some point his hips start to press up, wanting more than just the teasing. ]
I'll take my chances in not forgiving you. [ Even if so much of it is his own fault. ]
[Dodger's hips move up a bit, guiding Athelstan to follow him until it can't be denied that he's grinding back. The smile that Dodger gives him is surprisingly gentle, even playful. Something he'd liked seeing on Ragnar and had tried to emulate a bit.]
Then don't forgive me. [One of his hands grips the back of Athelstan's hip, bringing attention to it now that they're locked in that sultry motion and pulling him closer.] No one's asking you to talk to me, or about me, after tonight. We can just keep this between us, yeah?
[ Athelstan feels unsettled by the smile but then again nothing about this should comfort him or relax him. He gives a slight nod. He doesn't think that means dodger not telling Ragnar but it didn't seem like it mattered any longer. Or at least it only matters to Athelstan.
He bites down on his bottom lip as the other grips his hip their bodies closer and he hates himself too for wanting this. Though, maybe more accurately in a way he's using Dodger too because he did want Ragnar to want him this way. ]
[That's as much consent as he feels he needs. Dodger just lets out a snicker, and presses his lips to Athelstan's neck instead. If the priest's done talking... well, Dodger was done talking before he got here.
Slowly, Dodger starts to shift lower, reaching to pull Athelstan's shirt up and motioning for him to finish getting it off. His lips trail along the older man's chest, down his belly, until he's pressing playful kisses along the edge of his pants, and then dipping down further to mouth at him through the fabric.]
[ There's a sense of relief when Dodger doesn't say anything else. He pulls off his shirt and tosses it the side. He isn't thinking, or he's trying not to think. At least he's become accustomed to giving into fleshly pleasures -- Ragnar hadn't shied away from that in the least.
He sucks in a breath when the other's mouth is over him through his pants. He reaches to push his head slightly. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 12:45 am (UTC)[Still, he's frustrated already and forcing someone down is a pain in the ass... he leans up just enough to give Athelstan room to breathe, balancing on his elbows and watching him with a look of annoyance mixed with... fatigue.]
What exactly did you come here for? Killing me? [Apparently so, so he adds:] Why?
[The fact that Athelstan was tried to kill him isn't surprising. The only surprising thing is that he can't trace it back to anything to apologize for. He'd given him the best night of his life... and then they hadn't spoken.]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 12:49 am (UTC)The questions annoy Athelstan because he would have thought Dodger would know. In hindsight, he'd see how that's foolish enough, neither Ragnar or Ivar are the type to talk about him without reason and Dodger is, in his opinion, less than bright. ]
You really need to ask?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 12:52 am (UTC)[He's tempted to just end the conversation there and try to kiss him again, but... whatever, his curiosity is peaked.]
We fucked once. I sort of remembered your name. So what's your issue?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 12:56 am (UTC)Athelstan is a bit hopelessly bias to Ragnar's son. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 01:07 am (UTC)Why does everything boil down to Ragnar lately?
He lets out a sigh of annoyance, and leans down to nip the priest's bottom lip.]
He already talked to me. We're sorted out.
[Because that's what this is, right? Athelstan is just an angry friend trying to right wrongs for Ragnar being hurt. But Ragnar had already yelled at him, and slept with him afterward, so that chapter was over.]
Not like he'll blame you if you got distracted. [He murmurs, pressing a softer kiss to Athelstan's lips.]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 01:11 am (UTC)Athelstan's lost in his thoughts, enough that he doesn't pull away from the kiss, though it does little to ease the twisting in his stomach. ]
He's asleep in our bed. [ Athelstan murmurs. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 01:23 am (UTC)Our bed. This isn't a friend, it's a lover. The lover... probably the reason why Ragnar had told him not to come to his house. So that they wouldn't meet, and make things complicated. And hell, Dodger would do the same, has done the same, to keep Khisanth and Eichi and Shigeru from spending too long together.
There are a few options here. He could apologize. He could speak to Ragnar about it. Hell, he could call him right now and get his opinion. He could do something horrible to Athelstan, make sure he's too humiliated to bring it up. Or maybe...
...Well, maybe that might just happen on its own. And then he won't have to deal with this, at least for a while. It isn't his problem, it's between them. They've both fucked him, it's not like Ragnar has any ground to be angry at either of them.]
Pretty sure we can't wake him up from out here... [He thinks it over a bit more, before adding:] I'm sure he'd like a video, though. You're a good catch.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 01:27 am (UTC)No, he would not like that. [ In truth, Ragnar still doesn't know how much Athelstan and Dodger had actually done the first time. The way that things had gone Athelstan had ended up too ashamed to even tell him there had been sex. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 01:32 am (UTC)[Is it cruel to crack a joke like that? Probably. But Dodger's moving past it already, pressing more kisses to Athelstan's lips and running his fingers over his hips.]
Has he fucked you yet? [He glances up, with a spark of mischief coming back to him.] Or am I still the only one that's gotten to you?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 01:36 am (UTC)The push turns into a harsher shove as he at least makes the attempt to get Dodger off of him so he can get up. The jagged edges coming together to form a clearer picture. Little does he know how wholly inaccurate the picture is. There's the feeling that Ragnar thinks it's perfectly okay for Dodger to fuck him but that for some reason Ragnar doesn't want to fuck him himself. ]
He won't.
[ The answer comes despite himself. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 01:45 am (UTC)Dodger hangs his head in sheer frustration as he lets Athelstan wriggle free, rolling onto his side to watch him from a small distance.]
Then what does it matter what he thinks.
[He'd asked the man here to get his mind off of things with Ragnar, how had he managed to seek out the one person that would make his life even more complicated? But now he guesses he has to... deal with this.]
Is that why you were a virgin when we met? Because you'd spent all your time pining over him when he spends all his time with other people? [Athelstan is painting a rather... mirror-like picture, that Dodger doesn't like one bit, and it presses him to pick at the situation like a scab.] How long has he been leaving you on the curb, huh? Because hell... he fucked me twenty minutes after he caught sight of me. So why shouldn't you?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 01:54 am (UTC)He stares down at the wrist the other had grabbed, the other's questions each feel like a gut bunch and he drags his dull nails over his wrist as if he could shock some sense into himself.
He drops his hands to the bed's edge as he sits at it, his feet on the ground and he could leave if he'd just get up. He doesn't think Dodger would force him to stay. Certainly not now. ]
No. If you must know, he is the one that pined for me and I am the one that held him back. Where I came from it had been 20 years, at least...for him it's... he's younger here. [ He doesn't know why he's telling these things to Dodger. ] I asked him to ... I wanted to have sex with me but he never... [ What does Dodger have that he doesn't? ]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 02:12 am (UTC)You sound like a fucking Christian. [And by the sound of it, that's an insult. He rolls his eyes, sitting up as he speaks.] He pined, you pined, after 20 fucking years does it matter? Fuck, that's almost as long as I've been alive. You never once sat down and figured you outgrew him, and maybe it wasn't gonna work out?
[Really, why is he bothering with this? He's not a fucking therapist. He just tips his head back, and then falls entirely back onto the bed.]
Look, whatever's going on between you two doesn't affect me. I'm just one of the people he fucked. So either take a page out of his book and get your rocks off, and stop taking it so fucking seriously, or get out.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 02:19 am (UTC)Aside from that maybe this Ragnar doesn't want who he's become as much as who he had been. His hands, still baring the marks of being crucified fidget before his fingers turn toward the bracelet that's around his wrist at all times, just like the crucifix he wears.
There's something in Dodger's words that sets off his anger again, he'd be hard pressed to pin point the exact moment it feels that it explodes in his chest before he turns, to punch Dodger in the jaw. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 02:31 am (UTC)What, did I hit a nerve?
[It barely bothers him - this man isn't a fighter, it shows even in the way he holds his fist. And even without that, Dodger is confident in his own ability to destroy him if he's convinced to take this seriously.
No, he'll just laugh it off and lean up enough to balance himself on his elbows.]
If you're gonna play the part of a jealous wife, at least you could throw a decent punch.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 02:36 am (UTC)In truth, while Athelstan had become rather skilled at fighting with shields and axes... fist fighting is not his forte, especially not when fueled by emotions that he doesn't know how to control and reign to his advantage -- not to mention that his opponent also has some unfair advantages to top it all off.
He does launch himself at Dodger, though, his hands going for his neck and it's foolish. Even as he does it he knows that he's being stupid but a part of him really doesn't care. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 02:44 am (UTC)I want to make this clear. I don't care if you've got something going on with Ragnar. That's not going to stop me from fucking him. If you want something changed, bring it up with him. But don't make me coddle you if you're not gonna have the decency to suck me off while I do it.
[He loosens his grip then, just enough to let Athelstan breathe again, and leans down so that their bodies are flush against one another, their breath mingling.]
I gave you a chance to leave. You're the one who came here. You're the one that stayed. So don't blame anyone but yourself for whatever happens tonight. Alright?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 02:49 am (UTC)He's sucking in harsh breaths, when his throat is released. The other's words had sobered him, if only a little. The anger turning more inward to himself. It always should have been brought up with Ragnar but he's too afraid of what answers he might receive, insecure that he's not able to satisfy Ragnar, that he's not enough.
There's no arguing with Dodger, not on this. ]
I hate you. [ Congratulations, this is his first hate confession. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 02:58 am (UTC)If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
[He presses a kiss to the symbol, content that he's soiled it with unholy lips, and then drops it so that it hits Athelstan's face on the way down. All the while his body has started moving, slowly working his hips against Athelstan's just enough to tease him with the occasional shift of fabric. He wants the satisfaction of the monk coming to him, more than anything.]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 03:05 am (UTC)He can't hurt him even a little, even though the other's hips are sinful and each movement had been noticed, his body all too eager to respond. He turned his head to the side, searching for anything to focus on that isn't Dodger's face even as he doesn't try to stop what he knows is happening.
He should stop it, but he's still thinking about Ragnar talking to Dodger about him, being okay with this? Did he want Dodger to do this, is that it? Did he want Athelstan to be more experienced? At some point his hips start to press up, wanting more than just the teasing. ]
I'll take my chances in not forgiving you. [ Even if so much of it is his own fault. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 03:12 am (UTC)Then don't forgive me. [One of his hands grips the back of Athelstan's hip, bringing attention to it now that they're locked in that sultry motion and pulling him closer.] No one's asking you to talk to me, or about me, after tonight. We can just keep this between us, yeah?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 03:20 am (UTC)He bites down on his bottom lip as the other grips his hip their bodies closer and he hates himself too for wanting this. Though, maybe more accurately in a way he's using Dodger too because he did want Ragnar to want him this way. ]
Do you have to keep talking right now?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 03:32 am (UTC)Slowly, Dodger starts to shift lower, reaching to pull Athelstan's shirt up and motioning for him to finish getting it off. His lips trail along the older man's chest, down his belly, until he's pressing playful kisses along the edge of his pants, and then dipping down further to mouth at him through the fabric.]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 04:07 am (UTC)He sucks in a breath when the other's mouth is over him through his pants. He reaches to push his head slightly. ]
Not that.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-01-24 04:09 am (UTC)What do you want, then?
[This should be good.]
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