[Ivar's low enough that he accepts the priest's touch without irritability or stiffening up trying to push his hand away. He listens without comment.
But when the mention of Lagertha is made, his head snaps back up, and there's the burning fire of hatred in his eyes. He's never told anyone here that she'd killed his mother. He didn't want Ragnar or Gyda to know and it had just never come up with Athelstan. Even without saying anything, it's clear that something happened to earn Ivar's everlasting hate.
He drinks pensively, thinking on what Athelstan has told him. He knows his father is far from perfect and he accepted that a long time ago. But still, his shortcomings are still sometimes too much for his son to answer, the wounds Ragnar had left from an absent childhood unable to heal.]
The problem with being a great man is having great mistakes as well as great triumphs.
[ It wouldn't take a genius to guess that any one of Ragnar's sons with Aslaug might not like Lagertha. And it's only clearer that there is a deep-seated anger and hatred within Ivar that Athelstan can't explain -- after all, the Lagertha he knew had never done anything to anyone that would have warranted such hatred. This was no time to ask. ]
It is true and unfortunately, your father is also weak when it comes to admitting when he has wronged someone... I am sorry that it has caused you to suffer. But I do not believe he would leave you again the way he did before, nor Gyda. The Ragnar I knew before you, would have never done so.
When he does, he is going to have much to answer for.
[The words are a bit ominous, but while Ivar might want to make his father hurt, he has never wanted to kill him, not even in his worst rages.
Instead, he sits up, pulling his shoes off, and then morphing into the husky dog form he likes so often to take. He goes over to Athelstan and whines, hopping up into his lap. A husky is a big dog to sit there. Ivar leans his furry head on Athelstan's shoulder, needing comfort right now.]
[ Athelstan sighs, relatively sure already that there were going to be more knife and axe marks in the walls of their home. It's normal enough but there had been peace for some time at least.
He doesn't have to say anything else before Ivar has turned into the husky. It's always a strange thing, at first, the transformation but the husky has now become synonymous with Ivar and the dog is able to get onto his lap without any resistance.
In truth, Athelstan needs comfort too and this is by far some of the best possible. His hand strokes the dog's head, rubbing between his ears and then downward. ]
[Ivar lets himself sink into the instincts of the dog, the simple nature and innate optimism. It makes this emotional state easier to be broken down into little easily-digestible chunks. He whines again, low in his throat, as Athelstan rubs behind his ears. It's easier to talk when he knows no one else will overhear what he has to say.]
[ Ivar's comment makes Athelstan's heart twist for him again. He wants to promise that he never will but that's not one he could know he could keep. He cannot tell the future though he knows he will never want to leave Ivar behind. He continues to pet him, it's a little easier to offer him comfort this way, beyond mere words. ]
Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season but you can bear it and you will find those who never leave. And sometimes people come back and we accept that paths sometimes criss-cross.
[Despite all his sadness, the dog instincts respond to the petting much more positively than his mind does. His tail slowly begins to wag back and forth.]
<It's all too much. My parents, Floki, my brothers...none have ever stayed.>
[Of course, the common factor there was Ivar, but he wasn't taking responsibility for his part in driving his brothers away. At least the other three had their reasons.]
[ Athelstan sighs softly, the sadness weighing on him more as he pets him. ]
Sometimes, people have to leave but often they come back. I left your father but I came back. You have to leave room to allow people to do what they need to do. Sometimes they don't really have a choice.
[ He rubs one of the dog's ears. ]
And sometimes, you might make it hard for them to stay.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
But when the mention of Lagertha is made, his head snaps back up, and there's the burning fire of hatred in his eyes. He's never told anyone here that she'd killed his mother. He didn't want Ragnar or Gyda to know and it had just never come up with Athelstan. Even without saying anything, it's clear that something happened to earn Ivar's everlasting hate.
He drinks pensively, thinking on what Athelstan has told him. He knows his father is far from perfect and he accepted that a long time ago. But still, his shortcomings are still sometimes too much for his son to answer, the wounds Ragnar had left from an absent childhood unable to heal.]
The problem with being a great man is having great mistakes as well as great triumphs.
no subject
It is true and unfortunately, your father is also weak when it comes to admitting when he has wronged someone... I am sorry that it has caused you to suffer. But I do not believe he would leave you again the way he did before, nor Gyda. The Ragnar I knew before you, would have never done so.
[ Athelstan offers a tired smile. ]
He always comes back. He'll be back soon.
no subject
[The words are a bit ominous, but while Ivar might want to make his father hurt, he has never wanted to kill him, not even in his worst rages.
Instead, he sits up, pulling his shoes off, and then morphing into the husky dog form he likes so often to take. He goes over to Athelstan and whines, hopping up into his lap. A husky is a big dog to sit there. Ivar leans his furry head on Athelstan's shoulder, needing comfort right now.]
no subject
[ Athelstan sighs, relatively sure already that there were going to be more knife and axe marks in the walls of their home. It's normal enough but there had been peace for some time at least.
He doesn't have to say anything else before Ivar has turned into the husky. It's always a strange thing, at first, the transformation but the husky has now become synonymous with Ivar and the dog is able to get onto his lap without any resistance.
In truth, Athelstan needs comfort too and this is by far some of the best possible. His hand strokes the dog's head, rubbing between his ears and then downward. ]
It'll be alright.
no subject
<Everyone leaves me eventually. I can't bear it.>
no subject
Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season but you can bear it and you will find those who never leave. And sometimes people come back and we accept that paths sometimes criss-cross.
no subject
<It's all too much. My parents, Floki, my brothers...none have ever stayed.>
[Of course, the common factor there was Ivar, but he wasn't taking responsibility for his part in driving his brothers away. At least the other three had their reasons.]
no subject
Sometimes, people have to leave but often they come back. I left your father but I came back. You have to leave room to allow people to do what they need to do. Sometimes they don't really have a choice.
[ He rubs one of the dog's ears. ]
And sometimes, you might make it hard for them to stay.