[She can't help shuddering at that accusation. It isn't... incorrect. She is very scared that she will be replaced. Ivar already has a new lover, and she had already been afraid of him and Lola ending up together and tossing her aside when she left.]
I've never loved anyone- or anything - as much as I love Ivar. I've forgotten my husband's face, I've forgotten the feeling of his skin and the smell of his clothing but I never forgot Ivar's. My house is filled with gifts from him, and our bed feels empty with him. I just feel- [Her voice strains a bit, and she holds back a sob.] I feel so small without him. I don't know what to do with myself. And having him- having him hate me like this, it hurts, I can't- I can't put into words how much it hurts...
[But she's just talking about herself again, isn't she, and Athelstan doesn't want to hear that. She wipes her eyes and tries to hold herself under control. No one cares how you feel, she reminds herself sharply. Just like her mother would.]
You know his father, don't you? Could you- could you arrange for me to see Winter while Ivar is gone? If I just- if I see her, if I can gain her trust, maybe he.. maybe it will help. I don't know.
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Date: 2018-02-21 01:13 pm (UTC)I've never loved anyone- or anything - as much as I love Ivar. I've forgotten my husband's face, I've forgotten the feeling of his skin and the smell of his clothing but I never forgot Ivar's. My house is filled with gifts from him, and our bed feels empty with him. I just feel- [Her voice strains a bit, and she holds back a sob.] I feel so small without him. I don't know what to do with myself. And having him- having him hate me like this, it hurts, I can't- I can't put into words how much it hurts...
[But she's just talking about herself again, isn't she, and Athelstan doesn't want to hear that. She wipes her eyes and tries to hold herself under control. No one cares how you feel, she reminds herself sharply. Just like her mother would.]
You know his father, don't you? Could you- could you arrange for me to see Winter while Ivar is gone? If I just- if I see her, if I can gain her trust, maybe he.. maybe it will help. I don't know.